Dear Friend,
Today I want to tell you something super real: it's OK to take your own wellbeing seriously. When I had three girlfriends in a row tell me the same thing—"You have to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others"—I knew I should probably listen. They were right, of course, but I couldn't figure out how to make that work. How do I take care of myself when so many things still have to get done? How can I listen to my body when all I hear it whisper is "I'm wiped out"? The problem is that, as a working mom and wife, I tend to take care of others and the to-do list before even thinking about doing something I enjoy.
The final straw was when my online counselor told me, "You have to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others" (again?!). I told her in exasperation, "Friends keep telling me that, but I have no idea how to do it." We were on the phone, but I'm sure she smiled. She took me directly to this Self-Care Assessment. I found that it had great ideas of ways I might give myself a little love.
I had to get over a few hurdles before I could actually put into practice some self-care techniques. First, I need to believe it's OK to do something just for me. After all, the Bible tells us to "look after the interests of others" and "love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:31). But what I failed to notice is that I truly have no way to care for others if my own well is dry. Second, I began to realize that I'm not just a walking head, made only of thoughts. I have a body. I have physiological and psychological needs. That's OK. God made me that way.
I fully admit that I'm still growing in learning how to steward the body and time God gave me. But I thought it might be helpful to list a few self-care activities I'm experimenting with:
- Taking the dog for a walk
- Coloring
- Doing a puzzle
- Putting on fun music and dancing around
- Singing some "oldies"
- YouTube workout video
- Journaling
- Reading
- Calling a friend
- Get a good laugh: Family Karaoke never fails!
The other principle that is super good for us worker-bee parents is this -- FUN FIRST. Prioritize fun. Try one of the items above or on this Self-Care Assessment first thing in the morning. As a checklist person, I was always waiting for the checklist to be completed before I would let myself have fun. The problem is that the checklist was never finished and at the end of the day, I was always too tired to do something fun like painting. Now I've flipped it and give myself permission to have the fun first thing in the morning. The surprising result of my very non-scientific study is that I actually get more done and have more fun doing it throughout the day.
I wish you well.
Love,
Your Friend
p.s.
How do today's thoughts strike you? Are you resistant as I was? What hurdles might you have to overcome to prioritize self-care?
What can you do to add a little FUN FIRST to your day?