Dear Friend,
This morning I was weeding. Some weeds were small and easily removed. Others were large with tentacles deep into the earth, which of course means they’ve been there a long time.
These weeds had me thinking about habits—how recently formed ones could be easily plucked and thrown away. This could equally apply to new positive habits—taking a nightly evening walk—and to new negative ones—doomscrolling before bed.
But the deep, old weeds… They are the wily ones. You pull the stems with all your might, only to see them break free. The weed appears to be gone, but the root remains. Be forewarned: that weed will be back. When? It depends on conditions, but keep your eyes open because that weed will be back stronger next time. After all, it’s an old weed; someone tried to uproot it before.
So this begs the question: how do we truly root out long-term emotional habits we’d like to change? My patterns of self-doubt, fear, depression have deep roots. For me, it’s been a journey of digging, getting an insight from God, having victory for a season. Then I will see the weed grow again. Time to dig afresh—a new season of healing is needed.
First naming these habits is a good place to start. Then we can prayerfully ask God for insight into this root. What is the heart of this matter? What deepest need is this pattern of behavior seeking to satisfy? If, for example, we often make decisions based on fear, might our truest need actually be for safety? Ah ha! Now we have something we can do. There is only ONE who can ever satisfy our deepest needs: God Almighty. Now we can make this real by taking our need to God:
“Father, my instinct is to do ______ out of fear, but I don’t want to do that anymore. I acknowledge that I am safe in you at this moment. You go before me in all things. ‘Surely your goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life’ (Psalm 23:6). In this moment. And tomorrow, too. In the hard things. Thank you that I can trust you in all things. I rest in you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Finding the root—our deepest needs—and taking those to God creates a new habit. This choice creates a beautiful dependence on the only One who can satisfy. God’s new seed can now produce a good “crop, multiplying thirty, sixty, one hundred times” (Mark 4:8).
Love,
Your Friend
p.s.
What good, healthy habit have you tried to develop in the last year? How did it go?
What “deep, old weeds” continue to plague you? Fear, anger, self-doubt, shame, pride, _________?
What lies at the heart of that root? What legitimate need are you seeking to satisfy? Belonging, safety, acceptance, love, appreciation, support, ________?
In what ways might you need to repent of your previous methods of trying to satisfy that need? How can you take your real legitimate need(s) to the Lord? What promises does God give us about how he will satisfy all of our needs? See Isaiah 55, Matthew 7:11, Psalm 91, or Psalm 139.