First, a word... This letter is addressed to Mama Bears, but it’s really for anyone with the heart of a Mama Bear (parent, grandparent, guardian, educator, mentor, case worker, etc.). It’s for anyone who loves a Little One or Big One (child, adolescent, adult child) in this broken, painful world. Please read all the way through the “p.s.” and the "p.p.s." ;) after the letter.
____________________________
Dear Friend,
You’ve already fought hard, Mama Bear.
You already:
heard from the teacher: “I have a concern”
heard from the doctor: “This is a life-long condition”
sat shocked
pleaded with God to make your kid “OK”
grieved the life you thought you’d have
went to work, looking for "solutions"
researched all the techniques
sought out all the experts
did all the steps
found all the dead-ends and started all over again
rolled it around in your head as you went to sleep and as you woke up
called your besties and asked for prayer
didn’t post on Facebook or Instagram (because this is a private struggle)
felt angry because you see your child struggle and struggle daily in a world set up for “typical” kids
heard again from the school about additional challenges
got all the “support”
took two steps forward and three steps back
joined all the online groups and still wondered why this feels like a solitary journey
dealt with the daily difficulties of “significant impairment”
tried to gently educate those who don’t understand why your kid would possibly act in such a manner
fought the many lies of shame and blame
hugged your kid every morning and every night
loved and loved and loved and loved and loved your kid so much it hurts
and still…
You’re a Mama Bear, so you fight on.
And then…
you read the life-giving words:
The Sovereign Lord “tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.” Isaiah 40:11
That’s right, Mama, God is caring for your little one the way you do: with strength and tenderness.
But notice what Almighty God is doing for YOU: “He gently leads those that have young.”
He leads.
He is leading.
He has led.
He already guided you this far. (Have you received any good gifts along the way?)
He gently leads.
What felt like a solitary journey was not. God was with you.
Why not invite Him into the next phases of the journey?
Pour out your heart to Him as He cares for you.
Dear Father,
You know my heart for my child. I know this child is ultimately yours and that you’ve given me a role in caring for and shaping this little one. I acknowledge that you’ve already done some amazing things like giving me this overwhelming love for my child. Thank you for the resources you’ve already provided. Thank you for walking alongside us in the difficult, painful moments. I entrust my child to you. I trust you to continue to gently guide us. Please be our guide. I submit my plans, desires, emotions, myself, my child—everything—into your hands because you are our Good Shepherd.
In the name of Jesus, Amen
Put it in His powerful hands.
Let Him provide you with the rest you need along the way: “He guides me beside quiet waters; He refreshes my soul” Psalm 23:2.
Let God lead you. As you follow, God will strengthen you. As you seek God and follow his will and his ways, the Lord's gentleness and peace will rub off on you, and will be evident to all, including your child.
Celebrate the small wins. Enjoy time just "being" with your kid.
My friend, I send you into the next leg of your journey knowing you’ll be tenacious in your advocacy for your child. Just remember that your God is in charge of the journey. And He will gently lead you and your kiddo. We can trust Him for that.
Love,
Your Friend
p.s. Perhaps you have the heart of a Mama Bear, but you are a Papa Bear, or a Grandparent Bear, or an Aunt/Uncle Bear, Guardian Bear, or Loving Bear for a Little One. Please receive the note above as meant for you, too. Notice the scripture inclusively says God “leads those that have young.” He means you. God is guiding you. If you are trying to care for someone growing up in this world, God longs to gently lead you. Invite him to guide you.
p.p.s. You might consider writing out your own “I already…” list. Adjust it to the challenges your Little One (or Big One) may be confronting whether it be an eating disorder, an addiction, health conditions, mental health issues, neurodivergence, or any other difficult path. Then I’d encourage you to entrust your journey to the guidance of the Good Shepherd as well.
Good Shepherd, guide me as I guide my child.