Dear Friend,
Hose in hand, I had an important task: to wash away six-weeks’ worth of ashes that had covered everything in our backyard. Why so much ash? California is burning again. No surprise there, you might say.
The problem is, for me, it’s personal. Nearly two years ago, the Camp Fire tore through Butte County destroying more than 14,000 structures, including our home in Paradise. Wow. What a season that was of shock and grief. In a matter of hours, our way of life in a sleepy little town was an ash heap. Our friends scattered across the country since there was no local housing available. Businesses were lost, 30,000 people made homeless, marriages broken, churches split. The pain seemed endless. Our burned out home literally sat in ashes for six months, waiting for trucks to cart away its ravaged remains. Our family and friends sat in virtual ashes deeply grieving the loss of our community.
Ashes in biblical times had deep symbolic meaning, often used to outwardly mourn, petition, or repent. When Job suffered the unimaginable loss of all of his children, livelihood, and finally his own health, he sat among ashes (Job 2:8) and later “buried his brow in the dust” proclaiming “my face is red with weeping” (Job 16:15-16). When the Jewish people faced nihilation at the hands of King Xerxes, Esther’s cousin Mordecai and the whole nation put on sackcloth and ashes to petition God to save them (Esther 4:1-3). When Daniel prayed for the exiled people of Israel, he covered himself in ash to repent on behalf of the entire wayward nation (Daniel 9:3).
So, people covered themselves in ashes in three seasons: mourning, petitioning, or repenting before God. Notice “before God.” In each situation, the Israelites were giving an outward sign—ashes—that matched their profound gut-felt feelings inside. But they expressed those passionate emotions before God. They refused to take their hurt and pain and stoically bury it. Instead, they passionately cried out to their Father who was listening. They were deeply stirred, and God was deeply stirred.
After the fire, I repeatedly wept aloud on my bed inside our trailer—thank God we had at least a tin roof over our heads. I didn’t know what else to say about the fire we had lived through and the community we had lost, except to say again and again to God, “Daddy, it hurts.” I was sitting in my ashes, mourning before my Abba Father. And He heard my cries. I know He did. Because “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4). I was blessed because He comforted me. I was blessed because God was near.
Now, nearly two years after my devastating fire, as I hose off the ashes that cover my backyard, I wonder if a new season has come. What happened after the people of the Bible sat in sackcloth and ashes? When the moment was right, when the season was over, they got up and washed themselves.
For me, the season of mourning has come and gone. So today I get up and wash off my ashes. Comforted, changed, and blessed.
Love,
Your Friend Melana
Ponder. Pray. Practice.
What season are you in? Are you sitting in ashes of mourning, or petition, or repentance right now? Or has that season passed? Is it time to get up and wash off the ashes?
How have you seen God comfort you through moments of deep grief? Who has God shown himself to be in your life? If you’re not sure, ask, seek, and knock (Matthew 7:7-8). He will gladly show Himself to you as a Father who gives good gifts (Matthew 7:11).